


Homecoming

by OtterAndTerrier



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Leia Organa-centric, Light Angst, Married Couple, Post-Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, but with PLENTY of Han/Leia, past Leia/Evaan, remember Alderaan, some sexy times because hey it's me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-11 21:41:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17454806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtterAndTerrier/pseuds/OtterAndTerrier
Summary: A space station built with the remains of the first Death Star, set just outside what the galaxy now refers to as "the Graveyard", is ready to serve as the new home to many of the surviving Alderaanians. Now, Leia has to face her ghosts as she prepares to return to the Alderaan sector. Luckily, she doesn't have to do it alone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Anchor up to me, love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12708288) by [OtterAndTerrier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtterAndTerrier/pseuds/OtterAndTerrier). 



> Set approximately two years after the Battle of Endor and a year after **[Anchor up to me, love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12708288)** , in which Han proposed to Leia and she grappled with a decision concerning the resettlement of the Alderaanian diaspora. You don't have to read that story at all to understand this one, but some things are referenced.
> 
> The worldbuilding uses many elements taken from the new canon, including but not limited to characters, planets, events and, more importantly, the idea of the Alderaanian space station. Despite all similarities, my story is not set in any particular canon but my own customized 'verse; therefore there is no neo-fascism, no more blown up planets, no separation and no murderous children in Han and Leia's future as implied or foreshadowed in any way in this fic.
> 
> If you're not comfortable with new canon or bisexuality, are not willing to give this fic a chance and have nothing nice to say, please proceed to exit this page and find something else to read.
> 
> This story took me seven months to complete but I'm very happy with the results and excited to finally share it with you all. Many thanks to **lajulie24** for her suggestions and words of encouragement.
> 
> Sorry for the long preamble! I hope you all enjoy this new adventure, and please remember your comments mean a lot! Updates on Saturdays :)

The Senate house of Chandrila rose in eight floors that surrounded a central open patio. The four topmost floors had been built in the past two years, after the New Republic government had decided to make the planet its capital and Hanna City the seat of the restored Galactic Senate, following the Battle of Endor. The building was nothing like the one in Coruscant—although few things on Chandrila were like Coruscant. Instead of walls, the inside hallways were separated from the patio by glassine panels that ran from ceiling to floor, so that natural light streamed in and the Senate workers could take in the view of carefully designed greenery as they went between meetings. In contrast to the splendour of the Old Republic and the cold authority of the Empire, Chandrilan public buildings privileged functionality, while still being aesthetically pleasing. In some ways, it was similar to home for an uprooted Alderaanian… but it wasn’t quite home. Even so, Evaan Verlaine could see why Princess Leia liked it here.

The tall woman exited the lift and stepped out into the third floor. After examining the closest information screen, she went to her right at a brisk pace, walking past several pieces of holographic art that she barely glanced at. She felt out of place, and not only because she was wearing her flight jumpsuit and boots while everyone she passed on her way dressed in formal robes, capes or tunics. The idea of working in politics, of being cooped up all day making decisions that would affect the rest of the galaxy, prickled uncomfortably at her skin. She had dabbled in it once for a brief time, sort of, after she and Leia had rounded up the surviving Alderaanians they could find and Leia had left her in charge as she went back to leading the rebellion—a kind of deputy princess. Evaan had only agreed out of duty towards her people. The truth was, she’d been relieved when someone else had been elected, and she was able to hop back on a Y-wing. That’s what she knew how to do.

Finally locating the right door, she let herself into the outer room, and it wasn’t long until she was admitted into Leia Organa’s office. This, too, was functionally furnished and sparsely decorated. The only admission Leia had made to showing a hint of her personal life was a holocube set on a discreet shelf that also held a small potted crop of starflowers in full bloom. Evaan remembered them from the lawns of the royal palace in Alderaan. She knew seeds had been exported long ago, but a pang of melancholy hit her all the same. The glittering holo showed Princess Leia caught in the embrace of Han Solo and Luke Skywalker, all of them laughing. It looked like it had been taken during the war.

The Leia sitting in front of her now looked calmer, settled, but Evaan knew that was only her imagination. Not that Leia wasn’t calmer now than during all those years at war—they all were—just that, even back then, she’d looked the same. Few things and people made Leia break her royal-and-rebel-imperial-senator trained, war-tempered composure. Evaan had resented her for it, long ago.

Just as before, though, the genuine warmth of Leia’s smile broke through her calm veneer as she greeted Evaan.

Evaan was trying to look solemn, but the effect was ruined with a smirk.

‘Your Highness.’

Leia shook her head and stood up.

‘Really, Evaan? After all—’

The pilot bowed her head slightly in apology. ‘I know, I know. Leia.’

Walking around her desk, Leia stepped forward and gave her a quick but heartfelt hug.

‘Please sit down,’ Leia said, gesturing toward the chair in front of her desk before going back to her own seat. She moved datapads and holocubes to the  side and folded her hands in front of her, the picture of a busy Senator, but relaxed.

‘I hear congratulations are in order,’ Evaan said as she sat down, a tilt of her head indicating Leia’s ring.

Leia’s fingers went to it as if by reflex, gently tracing the two flat circles of polished stone that were connected by threads of dark gold.

‘You recognize it.’

‘Of course. Queen Breha had her own,’ Evaan said, her voice softening at the mention of her former ruler. ‘It seems I’ve given Captain Solo less credit than he deserves as a keen observer.’

Leia laughed. ‘I wouldn’t blame you. But no; Han’s token for our engagement was a Corellian love stone he chose himself.’ She pointed a finger at one of the circles. ‘I had the ring made with fragments from it, modelled after my mother’s.’

Evaan nodded, then added with another smirk, ‘Jora Astane has both complained you didn’t marry a fellow Alderaanian—“at least a half-breed!” she said—and that you had the nerve to not throw a big royal wedding for the whole diaspora or even broadcast it.’

Leia rolled her eyes. ‘Like she wouldn’t have complained either way.’

‘I know.’ Serious now, Evaan added, ‘I wish you two the best. I know you wouldn’t have chosen anyone unworthy of you.’

‘Thank you,’ Leia said, nodding gracefully.

It had been the beginning of the galactic civil war when Leia and Evaan had teamed up to find other Alderaanians before the Empire did. For the duration of that mission, they had also found comfort in each other, despite Evaan’s initial grudge against the princess. Neither of them had been looking for a long-term relationship, and so they had parted ways as friends. Evaan didn’t regret it. Still, she had to give it to Han Solo for managing to impress such a formidable woman.

‘Tell me now, to what do I owe the pleasure?’ Leia asked. ‘I assume you didn’t come all the way to Chandrila just to congratulate me on my marriage?’

‘No, I haven’t.’ Evaan leaned forward and reached out for Leia’s arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. ‘It’s done.’

Leia’s usual composure slipped for a second after the moment it took her to figure out what Evaan was referring to.

‘You mean…’

Evaan nodded quietly, her amber eyes staring back at Leia.

‘You will receive an official transmission later today inviting you to the inauguration. I thought I’d come ahead, to… warn you.’

‘You don’t trust my diplomatic skills?’

‘I do,’ Evaan assured her. ‘I came for your benefit, so you could brace yourself. I have no doubt you would have given away nothing even if it’d caught you by surprise.’

Leia nodded slowly in acknowledgment, but her eyes had a faraway look.

‘This is good news,’ she said out loud, although Evaan suspected she was talking more to herself.

‘It is,’ Evaan agreed. ‘Doesn’t mean you have to be comfortable with it… right now.’

The princess shook her head as if to clear it and looked back to Evaan, her diplomatic face back on.

‘I’ll be fine.’

With a chuckle, Evaan said, ‘Of course you will.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Leia asked warily.

‘That it’s part of your job to be fine,’ Evaan replied, her tone gentler. ‘I understand that.’

A fine eyebrow raised on Leia’s face like a question mark. _Do you, now?_

‘Look, I know you’re not happy about it, but it wasn’t your call. Or mine. Stop thinking of it as if there was anything you failed to do. You did what was expected of you. What was _asked_. That’s part of your job, too.’

‘Get over myself, you mean?’ It was Leia who laughed dryly now, but Evaan knew the other woman wasn’t upset at her. ‘You’re not wrong. It won’t be me living there, I just have to show up, look around...’

Leia’s fingers traced the lines of a holocube in an absent-minded way as she spoke.

‘Will _you_ move there?’

The question caught Evaan by surprise. ‘Not immediately. It wouldn’t make much sense to keep an apartment there when I’d be on Hosnian Prime most days. Unless the New Republic is planning on opening a flight academy down on Delaya!’

She followed with a loud laugh she didn’t really feel.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for the support! Your comments are really appreciated. This is a shippy chapter, and the one that gives this story its M rating ;)

Leia sat at the vanity with a hairbrush forgotten on her lap, a small frown creasing her forehead as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. During most of the day, she had busied herself with her many pending tasks, putting that morning’s meeting with Evaan Verlaine in the back of her mind.

She didn’t see much of Evaan these days, and although there was mutual fondness and respect between them, Leia couldn’t claim they were close friends—not that she hadn’t tried. Even so, the pilot was one of the few people who shared a common terrible experience with Leia, and one of Leia’s most valuable links to the diaspora, having been fundamental to her efforts of gathering and protecting the displaced Alderaanian survivors after the battle of Yavin. Leia had been pleased at the prospect of seeing her again… but the news she brought had been less exciting.

A space station built with the remains of Palpatine’s first Death Star, set just outside what the galaxy now referred to as “the Graveyard”, was ready to serve as the new home to many of the children of Alderaan. Nearly a year had passed since she’d overseen the plans for its construction, and lamented her own impotence at offering a better solution. It had been the same day Han had asked her to marry him. Such different, impactful things, marking that day forever—just like meeting what would become her new family on the same day she’d lost nearly everything else.

The Force, Leia thought, had a pretty big sense of irony.

Just after lunch time, a transmission from the  _ Sunspire _ , the escort frigate of the Alderaan flotilla, had come through. Leia had put on her best face as Regent Administrator Eglyn Valmor invited her and her husband to the inauguration weekend. They and other diplomats would be given a grand tour of the installations before the ribbon-cutting gala. On the second day, those Alderaanians who had applied for housing within the space station would arrive, and Leia had volunteered to help get them settled in as well as give a welcome speech.

_ Cold _ , Evaan had called her once, resenting Leia’s stoicism as she addressed the death of her planet, of her parents, back on Yavin IV. Leia wondered if part of Verlaine still resented it, even after everything. She also wondered if she’d have to be cold this time, too, in order to make it through in one piece.

She’d lost track of time until she saw Han leaving the ’fresher behind her, a towel wrapped low on his hips. Leia smiled at him in the mirror, but she couldn’t shake off the faraway, forlorn look on her face.

‘D’you want me to keep ignorin’ something’s wrong with you, or do you wanna talk about it now?’ Han asked, running a hand through his damp hair and walking to the center of their bedroom.

Leia sighed and finally dropped the hairbrush on the vanity before standing up to join him.

‘I was actually hoping you’d help me forget about it, until tomorrow,’ she said, blinking up at him with a sultry look.

‘Don’t see why we can’t do both,’ Han replied, matching her low, seductive tone. His hands went to her shoulders, where they slipped her dressing gown down her arms before letting it drop to the floor. He sidestepped it as he went around her, large hands bunching up the silk of her chemise as they rested on her waist. Leia tilted her head when his breath tickled the skin of her neck. ‘You don’t get upset easy, Leia. Whatever happened, better get it out.’

‘Okay,’ Leia said, grabbing his hands and bringing them to the front in invitation. ‘As long as you don’t stop.’

‘Deal,’ Han growled in her ear, the sound making her shiver.

She let him kiss her neck in silence for a while, her hands resting loosely on the back of his, following their wanderings across her body. It felt like the start of a dance. Her eyes fell shut.

‘Evaan came to see me today,’ Leia finally said.

‘An’ you’re sad she’s three months too late to cancel the wedding and run off with her?’ Han joked.

Leia’s eyes snapped open as they rolled to the back of her head, even though she laughed. ‘Oh,  _ three months  _ too late? You’d think I’d have gone for it if she came right before the wedding asking me to run off with her, just because we hooked up a couple of times?’

She felt Han shrug, his muscles moving against her back.

‘You were supposed to  _ just _ hook up with me, too,’ Han said, and then she felt the scrape of his teeth against her shoulder as he slid the strap of her chemise down. One of his hands slid between her cleavage to cup her breast and hers followed it, adding pressure to his strokes. ‘But here we are.’

‘Yes, well, that was an oversight on my part.’

‘Keep tellin’ yourself that.’

‘Are you going to let me tell you or not?’

‘Go on,’ Han said, his mouth resuming work on her neck. 

‘The  _ New Alderaan _ space station is ready to be habitable,’ she told him, guiding his free hand down her stomach. ‘There’s going to be an inauguration ceremony in two weeks. I have to be there, of course.’

His hand turned and gave hers a squeeze: a simple, quiet gesture of comfort that still said so much. He then brought it further down, sliding under her chemise to stroke her thigh.

‘I’m comin’ with you,’ he said. Leia nodded, letting her head fall back on Han’s shoulder as his touching moved between her legs.

‘I… I’m not ready.’

‘’Course you’re not. You’ll never be ready for somethin’ like that.’ He kissed her temple, looking at her. ‘I wish it wasn’t like that. Wish you didn’t have to go or… they’d chosen somewhere else out of the whole kriffin’ galaxy.’

Leia laid a hand on his cheek. ‘I know.’

Han leaned in closer and kissed her deeply on the lips, until all she felt was his mouth and hands on her.

It was enough talking for tonight, she decided. Arching her body a couple of centims away from Han’s, she reached with her arms behind her back and felt around for his towel.

‘Seems roomy in there,’ she said in a breathy voice.

Han smirked. ‘Come find out.’

Leia untied the towel and let it drop to the floor, but when Han unwrapped his arms from around her body, she climbed onto the bed on her hands and knees and gave him a sly smile over her shoulder.

‘I’ll want your hand back where it was, hotshot.’

Han gave her a hungry smile.

She knelt by the headboard, twisted her hair and let it fall down her chest, before bracing her hands on the wall above. Han’s warm, muscular body was soon molding himself around hers, his hands teasing and stroking before completing the union of their bodies. Leia’s head fell back and her eyes found the small frame hanging on the wall above their bed, guarding the love stone that symbolized their marriage, and something like a grateful prayer crossed her mind.

She would get through this, too.

* * *

_ That breathing _ , it filled Leia with equal parts paralyzing dread and the urge to punch Vader in the face. Maybe she should. What else was there to lose? He had already killed her brother when he’d come to rescue her; he would kill her too, soon, anyway. Her parents would find out, the truth would be devastating. But they were safe on Alderaan, they would stay safe.

She heard Tarkin’s laughter. When she turned her head to look, his face melted to leave only his skull and she jumped. The momentum freed her from Vader’s grasp and she ran, her feet soaring over the dark corridor. It never seemed to end, but she saw a white porthole in the distance, and the sight kept her going even though her legs felt as heavy as lead. When she was finally getting closer, she realized it wasn’t a porthole but a planet, shining blue and green against the black of space. Leia’s blood seemed to freeze with a secret knowledge. A moment later, Alderaan exploded in front of her eyes—

—which sprung open now as she sat up. Leia’s hands fumbled on the mattress, nails sinking in the bedding, trying to ground herself. Her chest hurt with heavy panting. A few moments went by before her hyperventilating subsided. With a glance, she saw that Han was still fast asleep: she had been quiet this time. She lay back down and scooted closer to him, wrapping an arm around his chest. Her face pressed against his shoulder, she closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, finding comfort in the familiar scent and feeling of her sleeping husband, but it wasn’t until a few hours later that sleep claimed her again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leia shares her fears and seeks advice from Luke.
> 
> I hope you're enjoying the story so far! Next week's chapter is from Han's POV.

As much as Leia wanted to blame it on her workload, Luke sensed that her not calling him sooner was due more to her prevailing reticence to open up about certain topics than to lack of time.

The twins had grown closer since discovering their shared parentage, but they also clashed more often and fiercely than ever before, especially during the first several months following the battle of Endor. Luke knew she loved him as much as he did her. He and Leia had always had an easy camaraderie—easier than her and Han, the first few years. Back then, those two appeared to be like two negative electric charges, always repelling each other. When Han’s or Leia’s tempers went up against Luke, they hardly ever found that kind of resistance. 

But the boy Luke had been before Cloud City was no longer. He liked to believe that he remained bright and hopeful, a believer in change and in the weight of one's choices. He also had more insight in matters that were still foreign to Leia. That seemed to scare her sometimes.

She sought him out now not for comfort but for advice, that dreaded insight, the shared experience of loss.

‘It’s not the solution, Leia,’ Luke was saying. Leia had asked if he would agree to further train her in Jedi meditation, and confided that she didn’t know if she could stand on what was once the Death Star overlooking the remains of Alderaan. ‘You can’t use the Force—or anything—to close yourself off to negative emotions. That was the old Jedi Order’s mistake. You need to let yourself feel the full spectrum of human emotions.’

‘Please, spare me the philosophy,’ Leia snapped. He saw her holo image jerk back in her seat as if shocked and look away in embarrassment. ‘I’m sorry, Luke. I know what you mean, it’s not that what I’m asking. I just… you know I can’t afford to show emotion, as a public figure.’

‘Don’t you think your people would appreciate it if you did?’ Luke asked tentatively. Leia had the impressive ability to look so completely put together even in the face of tragedy, it was hard to tell how much she suffered. That had gained her the nickname of “Ice Princess” among some of her comrades. It was cruel and unfair, but Luke could see how someone who didn’t know her well would think the princess cold and uncaring sometimes.

‘It’s easy for you to say,’ Leia replied, her tone bitter. ‘As a man, if you cried in public you’d be called weak by some, but many would praise you for being a strong leader who isn’t afraid to embrace emotion. It’s harder for women to be respected as a leader by many cultures in this galaxy. If we show  _ too much _ emotion, we’re labelled unstable and deemed unfit for leadership.’

Luke nodded once in acknowledgment. His sister appeared so confident most of the time, always in command of any group, it was strange to think she ever struggled. But he didn't doubt her word. He'd seen it happen.

‘And it’s not just that,’ Leia continued. ‘I’m not afraid of being vulnerable. I just can’t… I can’t regulate this kind of emotion once I start. I can't just tear up gracefully, not about this.’

She looked away, her hand playing absentmindedly with her wedding ring. 

‘I still have full meltdowns, once I let myself break—in private. I think you'll agree the public doesn't need to see  _ that _ kind of emotion.’

‘Fair enough,’ he conceded. ‘I still don't think you need my help, though. I mean, you… you've always been better at controlling your emotions than I was, Leia. Maybe what you need is just to get it off your chest before you have to be there. What scares you about being there?’

‘Nothing  _ scares _ me—’

_ Bullshit _ , Luke thought. Once again, Leia jumped back as if shocked.

‘What…? Luke, I—I’ve told you I don’t like—’

‘I wasn’t doing it!’ Luke told her defensively. ‘It was you!’

Leia was pale. ‘Of course I didn’t, I couldn’t have!’

Early on after the discovery of their double link as twins and Force-sensitive beings, Leia had established a rule: no “mind reading”, as she called it, unless it’s life or death. It was invasive and icky, to have that kind of access into anyone’s mind, she’d said. Luke had tried to reason with her, saying it didn’t always have to be like that, that there were “layers of access”, but she had been firm. Luke had respected that, and still did.

‘Leia, I swear to you, I did not beam that thought into your mind,’ Luke said seriously. ‘I think you were unconsciously probing me.’

‘But I wouldn’t! I… why would I…?’

‘Because you’re desperate,’ Luke ventured.

Leia shook her head a little, pressed two fingers between her eyebrows as if warding off a headache. Then she slumped forward with a heavy sigh.

‘Do you understand now why I need your help? Why I can’t go there? You’re right, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of being back there. You know what happened that time I flew over Endor, where the second Death Star was.’

‘You felt the Emperor's Force signature,’ Luke answered. Kindly, he added, ‘The Emperor didn't die on the first Death Star. Nor did Vader.’

‘But a lot of other people did. On the Death Star and—’ Leia's voice wavered. ‘I know this might sound irrational, but I'm just… so many deaths in the same place…’

Luke touched her mind lightly, just as a soothing gesture.

‘It's not entirely irrational. Obi-Wan… when we were flying to the Alderaan system he actually felt it happen. None of us knew what had happened, but later it made sense. And you, Leia, like it or not you’ve become aware of the Force, which has increased your sensitivity.’ Luke smiled wryly. ‘You’ve always been lots more perceptive than I am, too.’

‘Sounds to me like you’re saying I’m a naturally better Jedi than you are,’ Leia joked, arching an eyebrow.

Luke laughed. ‘Maybe you would be, if you wanted. But looking back, I know the Force has always manifested itself in me, too, just in different ways.’

Leia nodded, a faraway look on her face. ‘So I suppose there’s no way you can help me with this, then.’

‘I think… you have everything you need. You already did before you talked to me,’ Luke said honestly.

‘What was that again?’ Leia asked, leaning forward.

‘You still remember those meditation exercises we used to do, right? Do them twice a day. And just… get through it. I know you can. And when it's over let yourself break down if you need to. You've talked to Han about this?’

‘Of course.’

Luke nodded, then shrugged. ‘I’m afraid that's all there is.’

‘You’re not a very helpful big brother, did you know that?’ Leia said with a peeved expression, but it soon broke into a smirk. ‘I’m joking. Thank you, Luke. Will we see you there?’

‘I’ll pop in for the ceremony,’ he promised. ‘They’re honoring the pilots who died on the Death Star assault.’

After they had said their goodbyes, Luke sat for another moment in front of the blank holotransmissor. He didn’t believe Leia would be able to feel anything like what Obi-Wan had felt at this point; her anxiety was (most understandably) rooted in having to face again what was left of her homeworld. He’d felt similarly when he’d visited the graves of his aunt and uncle, the ruins of their home no longer smoking but still standing as a reminder of tragedy. Nothing really prepared you, or spared you from it. You just had to let yourself feel it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's title could be "Han Solo loves his wife". As promised, Han's POV and a reunion as the inauguration weekend arrives.
> 
> (Just in case, Chewie is _not_ dead, he's just back home)
> 
> Thanks for your support, and remember I love reading your comments!

‘Come on, baby, you can do this,’ Han pleaded; then, he muttered darkly, ‘If it wasn’t for that lice-laden sonofabantha I’d be home fuckin’ yesterday.’

Today was the inauguration of the  _ New Alderaan _ station. Han had promised Leia he’d be there for her even before she’d asked. Even after he’d accepted what was supposed to be a quick shipping trip to Serenno that was one day short of overlapping with the gala, he’d told her he would be back with plenty of time. Just the day before, he had dismissed Leia’s claims that she would be fine on her own and would rather he didn’t turn himself into space dust trying to make it when it was clear things were going slower than they were supposed to. He’d told her they would go together, that he would pick her up at home and they’d go on the  _ Falcon _ ; he’d even waved off her suggestion that he meet her in the Alderaan system whenever he could make it there, that it’d be fine.

Now, the  _ Millennium Falcon _ was hurtling through time and space and Han was unable to raise Leia on the comm, trying not to check what time it was on Chandrila, to see if he had to change course, with a slightly terrified crew of two that had fled the cockpit as soon as they entered hyperspace—his  _ crew _ , his crew had always been him and Chewie, it was so strange to think of his crew in any other terms; how he missed Chewie in times like this—and even though he knew she wouldn’t be disappointed and she wouldn’t make a big deal of it, he felt as if a cold hand was gripping his stomach.

He hadn’t made this promise to his wife out of obligation. There was no teasing, it was no joke for him, anything that involved Alderaan—because of Leia. Before, after he’d met her but before he got to know her, he’d think and sometimes say (out of Leia’s earshot) that maybe they’d had it coming. That it was all you could expect when you got involved. That the big decision-makers had doomed the whole planet without the citizens’ consent. Those thoughts coexisted with the ones that said no one had the right to blow up a planet, of course, and the little part of him that was sorry for the princess. They were wiped off entirely once he knew…  _ her _ , what she thought, how she’d lived, why she did the things she did, what she believed in. Now that they were married, he couldn’t help but feel as if a part of his home had been taken away, too, just because of how much it pained him to see Leia still hurting for it.

And in return,  _ he _ was the only person she’d always, truly, let herself break and hurt with. That’s why he wanted to be there, why he needed to reach her before she had to put on a mask and face the music, just in case. It was the one thing he could do to help.

The thing was, he wasn’t really good at talking feelings, or making people talk about feelings, never had been. He’d known that Leia had been upset ever since the meeting where the diaspora had requested from her the scraps of the Death Star to make the damn space station, nearly two years ago. But then, she wasn’t going to be the one living there, she’d told him that, and she hadn’t been required to oversee the project, and she’d been busy, so she had more or less gotten over it. Every once in a while she’d be confronted with the fact of the  _ New Alderaan’s _ imminent existence—like when they’d shown her the schematics, the day Han had asked her to marry him—and she’d get upset again, but it passed.

Except now she had to go there… she had to go  _ back _ there (a charming old saying came to mind:  _ you can roll a turd on gemstones but it’s still a turd _ . But this turd would be a home to some). She’d been upset, but she had gotten it off her chest and then she’d refused to let it show again, insisting she was fine. And Han, the one person who’d never been afraid to call her out on her bullshit, was the last to press her on this. But still, somehow, he was the one who had always gotten her to open out about it, eventually, and he knew that—eventually—he’d do it again when she was ready. Hey, maybe he was better than he gave himself credit for.

Forty minutes to Chandrila. He tried calling home again, but either the  _ Falcon's _ subspace transceiver was fried or Leia wasn't picking up. Cursing again, he raked a hand through his hair. In the end, he decided to take a shower before landing, and hope for the best.

* * *

The  _ Millennium Falcon _ landed in its usual docking bay in the Hanna City Republic Class spaceport with a lot less grace than Han would have preferred, making his teeth clatter, but it barely mattered. They’d made it, at long last.

‘’Kay kids, gonna need you to clear out as fast as your feet will take ya,’ he told Viqi and Kellin, the two youngsters he’d picked from his full crew to accompany him on this trip. That was something he liked about having his own, perfectly legal and profitable shipping company: he’d been able to scout for kids with a love of starships and given them a chance. In a way, that made up for not having Chewie with him anymore; mentoring his crew (Leia called it “bossing them around”) kept him busy.

Han waved them goodbye distractedly, trying to reach Leia’s comm as he peered outside of the cockpit to the spaceport beyond.

Finally, her voice came through the mobile device.

‘Han? Where are you?’

‘Hey—hey, I’m sorry, was held up and then the sonic field reactor blew up, but that’s—don’t matter, head on over to the spaceport—’

‘I am at the spaceport, about to take off, actually. Meet us there, okay?’

‘What?’ Han jumped out of his chair and sprinted through his ship. ‘No, no, don’t go anywhere, sweetheart!’

‘All my stuff is already on board, flyboy. Why don’t you go home, take a nap and meet me for the gala? You must be exh—’

‘I’m fine! What are you talking about, you’re comin’ with me.’ He was walking down the ramp now. ‘You tell them to turn off the engines, alright, the  _ Falcon’s _ good and ready to go—’

‘Didn’t you say something blew up?’ Leia asked dryly.

‘It’s fixed now!’ Han grunted, crossing the spaceport in large strides towards the docking bay of Leia’s diplomatic ship.

Leia sighed heavily. ‘You’re already on your way to get me, aren’t you?’

‘Better believe it.’

He heard her muffled voice giving directions just as he turned a corner and the  _ Golden Hour _ came into sight. The ramp began to lower.

Leia stood at the top of it, a hand on her hip, the other still clutching the comm to her ear. When she spoke, Han heard her voice twice.

‘You're so dramatic, Solo.’

‘I prefer romantic,’ he quipped.

‘Do you?’ She hung up and stuffed her comm into a pocket as she grabbed a travel case and a large garment bag and started walking down to him.

‘Don’t tell anyone.’

Leia stopped in front of him and rolled her eyes before standing on her tiptoes to give him a kiss. ‘Who would believe me?’

He took her travel case and she grabbed his hand as they began to walk back to the  _ Falcon _ .

‘You thick-headed moof-milker, would it have killed you to do as I said and meet me later? I don’t want to crash into an asteroid because you fell asleep piloting.’

Despite her seemingly harsh words, her tone was light and teasing; Han knew there was more concern over his well-being than over a possible crash behind them... plus a little bit of her typical “I’m Leia Organa and I’m Fine” shield.

‘I could have managed a few more hours without you, you know,’ she added softly, squeezing his hand.

Han shrugged casually. ‘I was already here.’

That wasn't really it, though, and he thought Leia knew. His feet slowed down a little. 

‘Look, just thought you’d like to co-pilot the  _ Falcon _ . If you'd rather sleep the whole ride or whatever, you can go back and I'll catch up.’

Leia gave him a soft-eyed look that he knew meant she was grateful and tugged at his hand to keep them moving.

‘I would like that. I haven’t flown a ship in a while.’

‘We’ll have to fix that, yeah?’ he told her, slipping an arm around her waist.

‘Will you let me  _ pilot  _ her?’

Han laughed.

‘Now I think you’re just takin’ advantage of me, sweetheart.’


	5. Chapter 5

Reading people, knowing not just the meaning of what they said but also of what they didn’t, finding out their motivations, discerning whether they were friend or foe—it was a skill that you honed over time even if you were a natural at it, like Leia was.

Han had been a tough nut to crack. She’d always known there was more to him than what he claimed, but for the years that their personal tug of war had lasted, his thoughts and feelings had been a mystery to her (and one she had been scared of solving).

She couldn’t say that he had turned into a much more eloquent man since then, but their communication and their understanding of each other had certainly improved. She knew for a fact that what he’d really meant earlier was  _ I thought you'd like an excuse to keep yourself busy and not think about Alderaan. _

That was one of the things she loved about him, how he knew to offer just what she needed, in the way that she needed… 

… at least, for the most part. He had been right: piloting the  _ Falcon _ (Han had given in) had taken her mind off the upcoming stay at what had once been the place where her nightmares often took place. But a part of her needed to think about it—to prepare. She had been meditating daily just as Luke had indicated, although she felt as if it hadn't gotten any easier than the first time she'd attempted it. She had intended to do it again during the flight, but Han was taking his concern too far.

As soon as they’d hit hyperspace, he hadn’t stopped offering her ways out of sitting and being alone with her thoughts. 

‘Wanna help me fix the Chedak?’ he'd asked first. At her refusal, he’d said okay, he’d be working on that, call if you need anything. Not fifteen minutes later, he was offering her some tea, something to eat. She’d accepted the tea, hoping it would get him to stop fussing over her, but she had been wrong. He’d come back again soon asking if she could help him get the fusion cutter he’d dropped into a crevice of the maintenance bay that he couldn’t reach. Leia had raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest, pointedly looking down at the soft blue-and-black striped top, the impeccably ironed trousers and the short boots she’d chosen to wear for that day’s tour of the  _ New Alderaan _ .

‘Oh, right, sorry,’ Han had said, going back the way he’d come. ‘I’ll just get the magn attractor.’

She didn’t know if he had retrieved his tool or not (she kind of suspected it hadn’t been an accident at all), but just as she’d closed her eyes and placed her hands on her knees, ready to begin her meditation, his warm breath was tickling her ear as he said in his best sultry voice, ‘What do you say if we put those fancy clothes away for a bit? I’ve missed you.’

‘All right,’ Leia said, standing up and turning to him.

Han brightened up. ‘Alright then.’

‘No—’ She placed her hands firmly on his shoulders. ‘Not  _ all right let's do it _ ; all right we need to talk.’

‘Okay,’ he said, frowning but nodding in understanding. ‘If you're sure, let's talk, I didn't think you'd want to.’

Maybe not quite understanding.

‘Honey, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, and I’ve missed you too, but you're being a little overwhelming right now. I just need a little time to myself before we get there. Okay? And you really should take a nap now, you must have one hell of a jetlag and you should be awake for the reception.’

Han didn't look too hurt; instead, he laughed. ‘Fine, I'll get off your back. You'll get me if you need me.’

She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him. ‘Always do.’

After she watched him go, Leia sat down once again on the bench, her feet planted firmly on the floor, her arms resting loosely on her legs. She started by becoming present, as Luke called it, feeling the weight of her body on the seat, the touch of her feet on the floor, the weight of her arms on her legs. She became aware of every sound in the ship, the beeps and hums that gave it life; and of the recycled air caressing the exposed skin of her face and hands. Then, a mental body scan: top of her head, forehead, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, neck—

She was doing it too quickly, as usual, automatically reciting  _ fine, fine, fine _ for each part of her. She started over. Leia supposed her head felt noisy, tense. Her jaw was tight: she tried to relax it. Her throat felt slightly constricted, and even though she was making her breath slow down, it felt shallow inside her chest. Now that she was allowing herself to really feel her body, she was aware of how much tension she was unwittingly holding, and she twitched her limbs slightly this way and that to loosen up the muscles.

The next step after that was to count her breaths and let her thoughts go by without focusing on them, without judgment, which was the hardest part. The first were mundane thoughts, like  _ I wonder if Han’s eaten _ ,  _ I hope he managed to fall asleep, he worries too much about me even though I’m okay _ ,  _ I should tell him to have this bench reupholstered, the stuffing is peeking out _ .

Then, a new one:  _ Asteroids _ .

_ It’s all asteroids now. _

_ Asteroids, just like the ones Han navigated us through, years ago. _

_ Dead and deadly rocks, rolling through space, waiting for a foolish ship to crash against them. _

_ They’re going to be waiting for me to give a speech while I stare at the asteroids that used to be— _

_ That used to be— _

_ Alderaan. Home. _

A sob escaped through Leia’s nose and rattled her chest as pictures of Alderaan’s mountains, its icy lakes, the palace, the gardens flashed through her mind, only to be replaced by a shower of asteroids.

It wasn’t the first time, of course, but the proximity to actually  _ seeing  _ it… After she had been forced to watch her planet die, she’d been quickly led away back to her cell, in preparation for her execution. Then, once Han and Chewie had taken her and Luke out of the Death Star, they had all been focused on surviving an Imperial chase and making it to Yavin IV. She hadn’t really seen outside, hadn’t made the connection yet. It had all felt like a nightmarish dream, and part of her had counted on waking up.

She had avoided going to the Alderaan system since then, had come up with excuses not to go to Delaya—now the only inhabited planet of the system—to convene in person with the surviving Alderaanians residing there. But she couldn’t run from it any longer.

* * *

Leia slipped into the bunk without even taking off her boots and pressed herself against Han’s chest, shaken by a fresh bout of sobbing. Han woke up at once, nearly jumping out of  his skin. He seemed to realize what was going on at once, though, because soon his arms were embracing her tightly. Leia’s own arms sought blindly to wrap themselves around him, so he shifted on the bunk until she could do just that. For a long time, he let her cry, one arm circling her waist while the other stroked her back, moving across her shoulder blades and rubbing the nape of her neck before sliding down again.

Like she’d told Luke, it was easier to avoid crying at all than to stop once she started. Nearly twenty minutes passed before her sobs subsided into sniffles and Leia could manage to speak.

‘I’m sorry I interrupted your nap,’ she said hoarsely.

‘’s okay,’ Han replied, kissing her temple. ‘You feelin’ better? Wanna talk about it?’

‘There’s not much to talk about. Nothing you haven't heard before.’ Leia sat up and reached overhead for a box of tissues. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose, then patted her head. She'd have to re-do her hair and make-up before arriving. Or maybe she'd follow Luke's advice and go out as she was, showing everyone that yes, she cried about her dead planet and her dead parents sometimes, too. Her eyes filled with tears again. ‘I just needed a good cry, I guess,’ she told him with a watery smile.

Han flung his legs off the bunk and held her in his arms again.

‘Leia, if you can't do this, you don't have to,’ he said. ‘I'll take you back. They'll have to understand… or we'll fake an emergency, I dunno…’

She chuckled, rubbing one of his bare arms as a droplet of water plopped down on it. ‘No. I have to do this for myself, too. It's about time.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave your thoughts below! ^-^ We're finally reaching _New Alderaan_ in the next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter after this. Leia and Han take a tour of the _New Alderaan_ colony and Leia contemplates life in this space station.
> 
> Nice comments are really appreciated!

Approximately 60,000 Alderaanian citizens had been offworld at the time of the planet’s destruction. Some of them had migrated elsewhere for various reasons; some had taken their family with them, others had started one, their blood mixing with that of their new planet. Some of them had been rebels, who at that very moment had been flying over Scarif or waiting for updates of the battle with bated breath. A small number had been working for the Empire, perhaps fighting their own kind. Others had simply been lucky: a work trip, a vacation, maybe a family emergency had taken them offworld in time.

Of course, luck was relative: they had been spared their lives, but they had lost everything else, or nearly.

There were also those who hadn’t outlived Alderaan for much longer, lost to the Empire or suicide. For the rest of them, the survivors, the question of home had gone unanswered for a long time ever since that fateful day when Alderaan had been turned to debris. Not content with wiping off the planet and its leaders, the Emperor had ordered a hunt for every person with Alderaanian blood, so that even those who already had a stable home somewhere else had been forced to leave everything and go into hiding.

Several planets had publicly opened their borders to the diaspora after the war ended, and Councils of Alderaanian Survivors had sprouted all over the galaxy. In resuming her position as a Senator, Leia represented not only the Alderaan sector but the interests of the diaspora, which meant she regularly convened with these clusters.

Now many of her people would come back to the spot of the galaxy they had once left.

Even though Leia had seen the plans for the  _ New Alderaan _ , including renderings of the finished project, her brain had refused to let her believe it could ever look as good as promised. Leia had been in space stations that served as civilian colonies before, as well as luxurious resorts. While they could be beautiful, comfortable structures that tried hard to convince you of being planetside, they always seemed a little too artificial to feel like the real thing for long. She’d imagined feeling claustrophobic if she had to live there permanently. And in her mind, this particular citadel could never break free from the oppressive structure that had spawned it.

She was glad to be proven wrong.

The  _ New Alderaan _ station took the shape of the Crest of Alderaan, an upside-down triangle made of interlacing curves. Its fluid architecture was reflected inside. There was a central, sloping park with real flora and small artificial lakes; here and there, terraced gardens grew a variety of fruits, vegetables and legumes. Others cultivated some of the precious flowers and trees that had been once native to Alderaan. There were controlled populations of birds and small mammals, even a herd of nerfs (although the majority of the colony’s food supplies would be imported from Delaya). The park was surrounded by tiered housing and office complexes; their surfaces were a soft gray, made lighter and warmer in the artificial daylight. Streets off the park led deeper into the citadel, as well as towards the upper and lower levels. Here, it was more obvious that you were not planetside, but there was still nature, and efforts to make it appear as organic as possible.

A group of luxury hoverbuses took the guests through the citadel, showing them around. Leia sat rigidly on the first seat of the first hoverbus—the place of honour—craning her neck to examine everything through the panoramic windows. Next to her, Han sprawled comfortably, as if they were on a vacation. His arm lay behind her on the backrest; every now and then Leia felt the brush of his fingers against her neck in an absent-minded comforting gesture. He didn’t know, but the touch served to remind her to take deeper breaths.

Eglyn Valmor and the  _ New Alderaan _ ’s head architect shared the leading vehicle with them, acting as tour guides as their voices and faces were transmitted to the rest of the committee. They took turns to point at the sights and talk about the decisions behind each choice: why that synthrock texture, why those trees, why this garden shape, interspersing it with tidbits of Alderaan’s history.

She hadn’t known Valmor back home. Although her youthful face belied her age, the woman was a few years older than Leia: before their planet’s destruction, Valmor had been completing her postgrad degree in Economy. She had also attended Queen Breha’s lectures on Alderaanian culture and heritage, a highly demanded class that Leia’s mother taught once a week at Aldera’s oldest and most prestigious public university. The royal families of other planets regarded that as strange, almost a debasement of their class, but Bail and Breha Organa—like the rulers that had preceded them—viewed their involvement in occupations other than governance as part of their duties towards their people.

Even though the lives of many great leaders had been extinguished by the Empire’s superweapon, Valmor had gained the people’s vote to take her place as Leia’s representative from a host of qualified candidates. Part of Leia resented Valmor for calling the shots in the source material and location of the  _ New Alderaan _ , but her mind was at ease knowing she left her people in such capable hands.

‘This is real nice,’ Han said in Leia’s ear as they passed through the education district. ‘Very impressive.’

‘It is, isn’t it?’

Her anxiety over coming on board what she still thought of as the Death Star had dissipated, because it was not the Death Star. Even as they approached the structure, that fact finally solidified and became a reality for Leia. Once inside, it was easy to forget that the durasteel encasing the floating citadel had ever been anything else.

Han hadn’t asked her how she was holding up since they had arrived, knowing she would appreciate his overprotectiveness even less while they were out in public, but Leia was aware of his watchful eyes on her. She squeezed his knee lightly and gave him a smile, a quiet reassuring gesture that he had nothing to worry about.

* * *

Afterwards, the guests were picked up by repulsorcabs and taken to their suites in the diplomatic complex to rest and prepare for that night’s opening gala.

‘Not too shabby,’ Han said after Leia had let themselves in.

Despite her objections, a grander suite had been designed and reserved specifically for her and her family. She had made her intentions of not moving into the space station permanently known, and claimed that therefore her rooms would be a waste, but the  _ New Alderaan _ council had insisted that the royal family by protocol ought to have their own space. Her suite could be lent to other high-ranking officials and diplomats in her absence, they’d argued, if Leia was okay with that.

Their luggage had been brought in earlier and waited for them in the seating area, surrounded by plush sofas, banquettes and armchairs in powder blue and grey tones. A coffee table sat in the middle sporting a set of Alderaanian-made glassine ornaments, a candy bowl and a stack of orientational pamphlets. There was a viewscreen on a wall, a nook with a holocam and projector and another one with a computer terminal and several available datapads. Off to one side, there was a kitchenette with basic appliances and a dining room.

‘This is fancier than home,’ Leia muttered, looking at a large painting depicting the Crest of Alderaan.

‘Do you think we should upgrade?’ Han asked, pressing a kiss on her head as he passed her by to explore the rest of the apartment.

‘Don’t get any ideas, flyboy.’

‘Too late!’ he called from the en suite ‘fresher.

Leia walked into the master bedroom, which had a large double bed, another set of armchairs around a viewscreen and a beautiful, familiar combination of patterns, colours and textures. There was a bouquet of fresh starflowers on a spindly table, scenting the room.

Following after Han, Leia sucked in a breath as she saw the oversized sunken tub that most closely resembled a miniature swimming pool.

‘This is insane!’

‘It’s amazing!’ Han said, rubbing his hands together in glee. Despite her annoyance, Leia couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction. So maybe she thought this was over the top, maybe she still felt guilty and unused to the kind of luxury she had once lived in, but this had never been the norm for Han. If she couldn’t appreciate the effort on her own behalf, she would for what it meant to Han.

It was still a little overwhelming, especially when the Crest of Alderaan stared at her from every angle, like on the towels, bathrobes and the wrapping of the toiletries. 

Han finally went back into the main room and approached the small but stocked bar. He spent a while taking out bottles and examining their labels with interest before pouring two glasses of the most expensive Corellian whiskey he could find.

The suite’s unique position at the top of the complex, which was located on the apex of the citadel, gave it a dual view of Breha Park on one side and the Graveyard on the other. The park could be seen from the sitting room’s floor-to-ceiling door-windows, and it was here where Leia stood now as she was handed out her drink.

‘Thank you. Enjoying yourself?’

‘And why not?’ He wrapped an arm around her waist, looking at the panoramic view below them. ‘Are you?’

‘It's been… interesting.’

‘Does it feel like home?’

Leia licked her lips, considering her words.

‘It kind of does. The architecture, the decor, the art,’ she said, waving a hand at the sculptures and framed paintings that were tastefully arranged around the suite, reproductions of famous pieces that were forever lost. ‘It really feels that… that this was a work of love.’

‘If you ever wanted to come and live here, you know, we could,’ Han told her.

Quietly, Leia said, ‘I can't.’

‘Because of the Senate? You could fly back back and forth like you used to—’

‘No, not because of work.’ Leia sighed and drank her whiskey. ‘I don't think it would be good for me… for my… mental health to be constantly surrounded by the ghosts of everything we've lost.’

She shook her head at herself, closing her eyes for a moment in silent self-reproach.

‘I know that's not quite true. These are not ghosts, they were made by our people. Our culture survives because our people survives and carries it forward,’ she said firmly, like a litany. ‘Nonetheless… the answer is no. But I love you for offering.’

She swiveled around and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, one hand braced against his neck for balance. Tightening his grip around her waist, Han deepened the kiss. She heard a thud as he set down his glass on a surface she couldn't be bothered to check out, and then his now-free hand caressed the curve of her ass over her tight-fitting pants.

‘You wanna hear some of those ideas I had?’ he asked, his voice the husky murmur that sent shivers down her spine. Leia kissed his neck, her hand sliding down the opening of his shirt to stroke his chest. ‘It involves you naked, first in that tub, and then on that very big bed.’

‘That’s ambitious,’ she said with a nip at his bottom lip.

‘Do we have time?’

‘Yes, but are you sure you'd not rather take a nap, since I interrupted you earlier?’ she asked, pulling away a little. She hadn't seen him in days, and a little sex before the gala—knowing that they’d probably be too tired after—sounded like a great deal, but Leia was still concerned about his exhaustion after rushing to come home for her.

‘Hey, stop tryin’ to get me to sleep,’ he said in a mock-stern voice. ‘I’m fine!’

‘Sorry,’ she said with a grin, ‘but you do see the irony here, right? I can look after you, too.’

He snorted in amusement, looking at her with his intense brand of tenderness, and pulled her close again. ‘An’ that’s nice, sweetheart, but this is the one kind of situation you can trust me when I say  _ I’d rather not sleep right now _ .’


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have reached the end of this journey! This chapter is divided into three POVs because I wanted to include one more character but it wasn't justifiable to make it a separate chapter. Even though most of the story was from Leia's perspective, I really enjoyed getting out of my comfort zone a little and showing her through the different lenses of other characters as well.
> 
> The last section was actually the beginning: it started as [a drabble](http://otterandterrierwrites.tumblr.com/post/176598349644/i-do-love-post-battle-of-endor-hanleiabut-i) on Tumblr about a year ago, with the idea of fitting it into a larger story at some point. It's challenging for me to finish multichapters over such a long period of time, so I'm proud that I stuck with it :D
> 
> If you're interested in seeing the inspiration behind the _New Alderaan_ design and Leia's and Han's outfits, you can keep an eye on **[my Tumblr](http://otterandterrierwrites.tumblr.com/)** , as I'll be sharing them probably later today!
> 
> Finally, thank you so much to everyone who's been reading and commenting along. To the readers who don't comment but leave kudos, I see you and I appreciate that too. To the ones who are too shy to do either, or to those who haven't read this story yet, I hope I'll see you soon. I write for myself first, but your support makes me want to keep sharing it <3

Han’s eyelids opened heavily for a second and closed back down, too tired to consider why he’d woken up in the first place. One side of his face was pressed against Leia’s warm skin, its soft rise and fall lulling him back to sleep.

Fingers threaded through his hair, nails scratching his scalp.

‘Han, I need to get up,’ Leia said in a husky voice.

He stirred as he tried to collect his thoughts and piece reality back together. They were in a fancy room in the Alderaanian space station. They were supposed to go to a reception. He had dozed off shortly after they had spent each other in bed—apparently, Leia had, too. That was good, even if it had taken his big head on her chest, pinning her down to the bed, to accomplish (but she would have moved him away if she’d wanted, he knew). She must have set an alarm so that they didn’t oversleep, which had woken him up.

Regardless, he mumbled, ‘Hmph. Why.’

‘Because I have to shower and get dressed, and so do you.’

She had a point, but it was hard for Han to care when his circadian rhythm was a mess, the bed was so comfortable, and his wife was so many things he felt stupid lucky thinking about it. He turned his head and nuzzled a breast.

‘Five mo’ minutes.’

Leia chuckled and patted his shoulder. ‘I’ll shove you off if I have to, hotshot.’

Sighing, Han rubbed his eyes wearily to chase away sleep and slid off her, flopping onto his back.

‘Thanks,’ she said, giving him a kiss before getting off the bed.

‘Can I at least join you in that shower?’ Han called after her, thinking of the large room with the rain showerhead, massage jets and sauna steamers that exceeded the description of a mere “shower”. They  _ really _ needed something like that back home.

‘Only if you can keep your hands to yourself!’ Leia said, shooting him a grin and a wink over her shoulder as she retrieved clean underwear from her travel case.

He crossed his arms behind his head and watched the swing of her hips as she walked into the ‘fresher. For as long as he’d known her, Leia was someone whose personal motto could be “Always just  _ fine. _ ” She could be breaking inside, but she’d be damned before she let it show and get in the way of what needed to be done. They were not so different in that aspect—except that Leia’s intention was to put the all before herself, while Han just thought it was nobody’s business to know the first thing about him. Even though they’d both had other confidants, close friends they could count on when things got rough, having found each other, taken down all the barriers they’d put on over the years was something Han still couldn’t believe sometimes. He’d never loved someone so completely.

They each had a past, things they’d never fully heal from. Hell knew Leia was facing hers today.

But one of the best parts of not only finding but holding onto each other was that they’d also found a future to look forward to. That you didn’t have to stay stuck in your past forever. There weren’t a great many things Han could do to make Leia’s pain lighter, but he hoped that, after this weekend, she could see this space station as something she didn’t have to fear anymore.

Han got up, ready to join Leia in the shower. It was unlikely he could keep his hands off her, and she'd make him pay for it, but what the hell? You only lived once.

* * *

‘The anniversary of my coming of age at sixteen was marked by a ceremony in which I demanded my right to the crown of Alderaan. Being acknowledged as heir was not only a matter of inheritance; if I ever hoped to become Queen, I had to earn my crown. I had to prove myself worthy in body, heart and mind through three challenges that were far from symbolic—they were meant to test me. 

‘These challenges I completed successfully, although not seamlessly. Each of them taught me harsh lessons about myself, about the galaxy I lived in, and about the things I would have to face as a ruler.

‘For my Challenge of the Heart, I was going to fly across the galaxy to bring aid to planets in need, to reinforce my parents' lifelong lessons in compassion. On my first mission, I found myself unable to walk away from people who would otherwise continue to struggle long after the supplies we’d given them had been exhausted, as Palpatine’s illegitimate Empire continued to destroy their home. I could not pat myself on the back and be on my way, so I came up with a plan to bring back with me to Alderaan as many refugees as could fit in my ship.

‘What seemed like a noble choice at the time proved to have consequences I didn’t know to expect. Had I walked away and waited a few months, the whole planet might have had a respite, instead of only the one hundred people I was able to save at the time.

‘Although that was the mistake of a young, impulsive girl, in time I discovered that, as a leader, you often have to make decisions without having all the information and without knowing the full extent of your consequences. There are no greater demons than your what ifs.

‘But, I saw people in need and I acted as best as I thought I could. The people of Alderaan have survived a relentless hunt at the hands of the Empire for the past few years, in part thanks to those who saw us in need and acted, despite all possible consequences. We will be forever grateful to those who gave us a home when our own was so brutally taken away. Today, however, we reclaim  _ our _ piece of the galaxy. We can never go back home, but we can build a new one. 

‘Alderaan lives on in each and every one of us. All of us are survivors, and it is in us that our culture and our people live on. Be proud of your resilience. The best we can do to honour the memory of those who have gone is to keep fighting so that Alderaan’s ideals are never, ever, again threatened. And to live, as fully as we can. Thank you.’

The hall broke in applause as Princess Leia stepped down from the podium, the cam droids following her as she rejoined the crowd below. Although the majority of Alderaanians who would soon inhabit  _ New Alderaan _ were not yet present, but bound to arrive the next day, Leia’s words had been transmitted so that they may reach every corner of the galaxy where her people might be.

Mon Mothma clapped along with everybody else until her hands hurt, as if somehow she could fill in for the applause of her two absent friends and collaborators. Bail and Breha would be so proud of the person that their daughter had turned into. Leia had endured the worst storms with the fortitude of a true leader and come out stronger on the other side.

There was one other person Mon was clapping on behalf of, who would also be immensely proud of the woman she’d brought into the galaxy: Padmé Amidala Naberrie. Bail had never revealed the identity of his daughter’s birth parents; Leia and Luke had come to her, months after Endor, disclosing their blood ties and asking for any information on Padmé that Mon might have. That’s when the credit chip had dropped: if Luke’s name was Skywalker, then the old rumours were true. The father of Padmé’s baby (babies, it turned out) had been the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker. Mon hadn’t known Skywalker well, but the former queen and then senator of Naboo had been her friend and ally during the confusing, scary years of the Clone Wars.

The chancellor had known Leia since the Organas had adopted her as a baby. She had seen her standing next to her mother during royal addresses and assisting her father in the Senate. She had been present in her Day of Demand ceremony, when she pledged to earn her right to be invested as crown princess. She had mentored Leia in the political arena and guided her first steps into the Rebellion. She had watched over Leia after she’d lost everything, and witnessed her reluctantly being pulled into a new family. Now she stood here, looking on as the princess led her people with the strength, loyalty and compassion that Padmé had passed on through her blood and Breha and Bail had reinforced with their own example. Oh yes, they would all be proud of Leia, but Mon was proud in her own right.

Her genuine intention was to approach the knot of people in the middle of which Leia stood receiving thanks and exchanging pleasantries, and wait calmly for her turn. As the Chancellor of the New Republic for the past two years, though, the crowd parted for her with deference and Mon was soon face to face with Leia.

‘That was an excellent speech,’ she said, folding her hands around Leia’s. ‘But I’m not surprised—you had excellent teachers in your parents.’

‘And in you,’ Leia said, giving her a warm smile. Her bright blue gown, cinched at the waist, with long off-shoulder sleeves and a delicate floral embroidery on a side that glittered when she moved accentuated the princess’ understated beauty as well as her regal composure. She looked sumptuous without extravagance, commanding without acrimony.

‘I’m humbled to hear that. It seems I have nothing else to teach you.’

‘I doubt that very much, but thank you.’ Leia let out a small sigh. ‘You remember my coronation ceremony, don’t you, Mon?’

‘Of course, I was there.’

‘You know, as honoured as I was, I hoped the day when I took my mother’s place would never come.’

‘As every well-loved child does,’ Mon said gently.

Leia nodded and her mouth twisted. ‘Well, it never did come. I’m not the queen of Alderaan nor will I ever be. I am the last princess. I promised to take care of them and—’

‘And you did,’ the chancellor cut her off, but Leia’s intention tonight didn’t seem to dwell in survivor’s guilt.

‘And I did,’ she agreed. ‘To the best of my abilities.’

‘I’m not a religious person, as you know, but if Bail and Breha could see you now, I know they would think so, too. I’m aware you must probably know this already, but there’s no harm in a reminder from someone who knew them well.’

There was emotion in Leia’s expression, although she kept the tears at bay.

‘No, there isn’t,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’

‘There you are.’ Han Solo made his way through the crowd as easily as Mon had to reach his wife, who looked up at him and smiled. ‘Hey there, Mothma.’

‘Hello, Captain Solo, how are you?’

‘You know, same old. Listen, sweetheart, that was great but I think you’ve earned the right to grab a bite now. You can come join me and Luke, or I can get you something if you want—uh, you too, Chancellor—’

‘That’s not necessary, Han,’ Mon said, amused. ‘I’ll leave you two to it.’

‘All right. See you on Monday, Mon.’ Leia grabbed Han Solo's hand and they walked away. It was only a matter of seconds before they were obscured by the beings milling around the hall, but it was enough for Mon Mothma to see (like she had many times) companionship and devotion for each other in the pair.

In Leia, just like in her own children and the many young soldiers that had joined their cause, Mon had seen hope in the future. She had seen a reason to fight for, even to die for, and so had Bail and Breha. The galaxy had lost so much, but it had gained a lot, too.

* * *

On the other side of the royal suite, accessible through the master bedroom, in lieu of a balcony there was a corridor. The opposite wall of this corridor was not in fact a wall, but an ample viewport.

Leia gripped the warm mug of tea with both hands, blowing the steam idly as she stared at the sun on the other side of the transparisteel. Most suns in habitable systems looked the same while you were in space: a blinding white spark against a black backdrop. No warmth, no inviting skies. This sun could be any sun, except no other star shone over this particular asteroid belt, and she supposed that was the whole point.

She felt melancholic, but… fine. Better than she’d expected. Or, it didn’t hurt as much as she’d expected ( _ As much as it should? _ , the part of her that would always feel survivor’s guilt asked). But then again, there was little feeling to be elicited by a bunch of dead rocks, an impersonal sun, nothing to remind her, except the void. And besides—she had already made her peace with it.

On their way to the station, after she’d cried her heart out, the  _ Millennium Falcon _ had stopped at her request, floating safely away from the Graveyard but keeping it in its view. Standing alone in the cockpit, Leia had said a prayer to the tumbling asteroids that had been her home.

There was a whoosh behind her and a sleep-heavy ‘Hey’.

Leia looked at Han over her shoulder and tipped her head in invitation. He crossed the corridor and stood next to her, laying a hand on her back.

She was so glad to have him here. It wouldn’t have been impossible for her to get through the weekend on her own; it was not as if her self-reliance had vanished over time and now that they were married she felt helpless without him. No, she could have done it all alone—but he’d made it easier.

It didn’t hurt that he’d looked so handsome during the ceremony, since somehow she had convinced him to wear the three-piece suit from their wedding (it was the only suit he’d ever agreed to buy, soft grey vest and jacket with black details over a white shirt open at the neck, and a pair of fitted black trousers. It was fancier than his usual attire, yet casual enough that he felt comfortable in it. And he looked  _ so damn fine _ .)

‘You’re up early. Did you get any sleep?’

‘I did, actually,’ Leia said. ‘Did I wake you?’

‘No, went to the ‘fresher. You okay?’

Leia turned her back to him until he wrapped his arms around her waist and she could lean back into his chest, looking at the star of the Alderaan system presiding over the space where her planet should have been and the station where its remaining people were now. She closed her eyes, the faces of her mother and her father, her newfound brother, clear in her mind; Han’s arms warm and solid around her. Life and love, surrounding her, penetrating her, binding her galaxy together, the way Luke talked about the Force.

‘I am.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _And I feel life for the very first time_  
>  _Love in my arms and the sun in my eyes_  
>  _I feel safe in the 5am light_  
>  _You carry my fears as the heavens set fire_  
>  \- "Technicolour Beat", Oh Wonder


End file.
